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Posted: 06/16/06
03:56 PM
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Post deleted by civicking
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Leon
User
| Posts: 109
| Joined: 02/06
Posted: 06/16/06
06:33 PM
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Quote:
the main character is an American that moved to England to try something new. he gets involved unbenowst to him with big underworld dealer of stolen cars and car parts . he gets chased by Interpol through out Europe, from London he goes to Paris where he meets a girl, from there he gets chased to Moscow because the continents biggest race is going on there and his biggest rival is racing there. once in Russian he has a car that he has to finish and once done Interpol/ Russian police catch him and forces him to help them catch his friend if he wants to stay out of jail. once the race starts his "friend" find out that he has sold him to the cops and decides that if he does not finish the race the police have no witness. it soon turns into a life or death race. i finish it by the bad guy getting arrested, the guy winning the girl and maybe its time for a vacation, maybe china. tell me what you think.
I am so lost... Lol. I don't really know about the whole stolen parts deal. It's just like in the first fast and the furious. They stole audio equipment of trucks to pay for their car parts.
My question is, why can't the protagonist (main character) ever be a guy coming from a good background. Why can't he be the person to work a few jobs instead of getting involved in stolen parts in order to modify his vehicle?
I would like to see a young kid, working 2 jobs, following in the shoes of a racing legend or something in his local town. Spending the nights at a race track and learning from his great grand father. And instead of meeting the girly girl, the 17 year old meets the girl who's pretty, but likes to drag race on the strip and work on her car. Life has it's issues, so the 17 year old takes it to the streets to get rid of emotional stress. He can't afford to pay for track sessions because he wants most of his money to go to his vehicle. That's the story I'd like... But I don't want to tell anymore... Because that's my idea...
And I don't like the whole idea of traveling across a wide peace of land. It sounds just like the fast and the furious 2, because all they are doing are dodging the cops and running to not get caught...
Sorry, if that's not what you wanted to hear, but that's what I thought when I read it...
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Posted: 06/16/06
08:57 PM
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OK first you got to realise a few thing, a movie that is all about a kid who works and just goes racing on the street will not sell why because its too close to real life, when people see movies they want fantasy, they want to be part of a world that they know they will never be able too. second, when i said stolen parts i mean stolen parts as engines from Honda, cars that are proto types and things like that, not some little ring stealing stereos. second he does come from a good background i just didn't tell you remember what i said little teaser, not whole story. next when people see a young kid they will not take the movie serious come one what movie have you taken serious when the main character was some young teenager? second there is nothing wrong with traveling across open areas, in FF2 they only traveled in California, i travel across a continent, i am trying to expose the people different racing scenes that they will never see, as in Europe. also the girl in there is a gear head trust me on that, and truthfully until its done this is going to be probably the last update you guys get. seeing as you want to mold my movie into something you want, and remember that in the end its what i want to do. not everyone likes every movies because if they did it would gross, billions not millions.
edit i would appreciate if you would delete your quote, comments is fine but not the quote thanks.
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Leon
User
| Posts: 109
| Joined: 02/06
Posted: 06/17/06
08:51 AM
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Quote:
OK first you got to realise a few thing, a movie that is all about a kid who works and just goes racing on the street will not sell why because its too close to real life, when people see movies they want fantasy, they want to be part of a world that they know they will never be able too. second, when i said stolen parts i mean stolen parts as engines from Honda, cars that are proto types and things like that, not some little ring stealing stereos. second he does come from a good background i just didn't tell you remember what i said little teaser, not whole story. next when people see a young kid they will not take the movie serious come one what movie have you taken serious when the main character was some young teenager? second there is nothing wrong with traveling across open areas, in FF2 they only traveled in California, i travel across a continent, i am trying to expose the people different racing scenes that they will never see, as in Europe. also the girl in there is a gear head trust me on that, and truthfully until its done this is going to be probably the last update you guys get. seeing as you want to mold my movie into something you want, and remember that in the end its what i want to do. not everyone likes every movies because if they did it would gross, billions not millions.
edit i would appreciate if you would delete your quote, comments is fine but not the quote thanks.
Well a movie about "fantasy" is going to not sell as well. It'll just turn out as a fast and the furious knock off...
And I don't understand this. You said when you were making this it'd be as close to real life. Well using fantasy sure isn't real life. My point is any kid can become involved in the local street races. Who has the best chance? A 17 year old working two jobs. And who says it has to be boring? Real life could be good. People don't want fantasy... They don't want what they could never do. They want to see things they could do, but would never dare to do, because they are either scared or don't have the skills. And single person can race, but few do it, because they know the consequences. You don't need fantasy to have a great movie. A story with love, passion, and dedication and realistic action can be just as great or better than a "fantasy" flick. We aren't talking ponies and dragons here. Lol.
My next point. Stealing prototypes. No offense, but that's bs. Oh. Don't worry about it. He would get caught. He's like the only kid driving on the street with a prototype. One that was only made. OMG! He'll never get caught. That's more ridiculous than stealing stereos.
Plenty of movies I have taken serious with teenagers. Like bikerboyz, which was probably the best out of all these movies made.
As for the whole traveling idea, I say it's ridiculous. Why??? Well why not just call the movie "RoadTrip" or something. That's what it sounds like they are doing. It sounds more like traveling to me than an actual run. Maybe some running, but you've got to face the wind sometimes... I like the whole theme of "Don't write a check your ass can't cash."
Maybe you don't think my idea is so great, but at least it's better than some "fantasy" story.
I would edit it, but I can't... It won't let me. But don't take this as a bad thing. I was thinking you'd want opinions from others. It'd make your story better. :-)
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Posted: 06/17/06
01:33 PM
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Uh Leon, you gotta uderstand why Civicking took it that harshly. THats the way HE believes the story should be. You both have different ideas but hes the one writting it. I'm not saying either of you is right but How would you like it if someone totally put your idea down instead of "criticking" it.
As for Civicking, no offense man but dont post it up if you dont want to hear everyones opinions. Not everyone is gonna be all gun hoe about your script and there will be conflicting ideas. As for the story I like the traving and how you incorporate action and love interest into the plot but it did come off like a F&F clone. Even if it isn't most people will think that way just because F&F came out first and was so popular. I think it should be a little more about the actual racing and becoming a successful racer then saving himself from the cops. Thats just my opinion on the teaser though. The finshed product could be different from how I interpreted it.
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Posted: 06/17/06
01:39 PM
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jsut to let you guys know that teaser was just an idea, the actually store is radically different. also with traveling has someone forgot borne identity he traveled thw orld going different places, and this is what my ideas was about. and yeah f&f was out first but this movie will have a much darker feelign too it, fnf was too poppy if you know what i mean.
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cj1977
Enthusiast
| Posts: 410
| Joined: 10/04
Posted: 06/17/06
06:29 PM
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Quote:
jsut to let you guys know that teaser was just an idea, the actually store is radically different. also with traveling has someone forgot borne identity he traveled thw orld going different places, and this is what my ideas was about. and yeah f&f was out first but this movie will have a much darker feelign too it, fnf was too poppy if you know what i mean.
I support you. Don't worry about what others say.
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Leon
User
| Posts: 109
| Joined: 02/06
Posted: 06/17/06
06:39 PM
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Quote:
Uh Leon, you gotta uderstand why Civicking took it that harshly. THats the way HE believes the story should be. You both have different ideas but hes the one writting it. I'm not saying either of you is right but How would you like it if someone totally put your idea down instead of "criticking" it.
As for Civicking, no offense man but dont post it up if you dont want to hear everyones opinions. Not everyone is gonna be all gun hoe about your script and there will be conflicting ideas. As for the story I like the traving and how you incorporate action and love interest into the plot but it did come off like a F&F clone. Even if it isn't most people will think that way just because F&F came out first and was so popular. I think it should be a little more about the actual racing and becoming a successful racer then saving himself from the cops. Thats just my opinion on the teaser though. The finshed product could be different from how I interpreted it.
Oh. By no means am I putting him down or his skills. I thought he wanted input, and input was what I was giving him. I'm only here to give him advice. Not to write his story for him. Sorry if it seemed that way. Like I said, I know what I wrote, was what he was not expecting, but it was just advice. It was to be taken seriously and used to his advantage. ;-) Don't worry civicking. Not all ideas are great stories out the box. Afterall, movie producers can spend up to 3 years making a storyline... And just think. That's something I'm sure your trying to complish in lower time. :-)
And if you're afraid to be put down when writing a movie script, than maybe movie script writing isn't for you, because you'll be put down a lot I'm sure. But I know you won't go out that easily civicking, so keep writing. :-)
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Leon
User
| Posts: 109
| Joined: 02/06
Posted: 06/17/06
06:43 PM
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Quote:
Uh Leon, you gotta uderstand why Civicking took it that harshly. THats the way HE believes the story should be. You both have different ideas but hes the one writting it. I'm not saying either of you is right but How would you like it if someone totally put your idea down instead of "criticking" it.
As for Civicking, no offense man but dont post it up if you dont want to hear everyones opinions. Not everyone is gonna be all gun hoe about your script and there will be conflicting ideas. As for the story I like the traving and how you incorporate action and love interest into the plot but it did come off like a F&F clone. Even if it isn't most people will think that way just because F&F came out first and was so popular. I think it should be a little more about the actual racing and becoming a successful racer then saving himself from the cops. Thats just my opinion on the teaser though. The finshed product could be different from how I interpreted it.
I like the successful racer idea. How about that civicking?
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Posted: 06/17/06
09:22 PM
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well lets just say thing from what you said you didn't like one bit of the idea i cam up with and made it sound like what i wrote is sh it. when you critique something you write good points and bad points, not all bad buddy. from now on don't worry i will not write anything about my scripts on here, it will make it easier. what i will tell you guys is if i get a deal or something along those line, but no ideas. now i consider this thread closed. and as a side not everyone who has read this story so far, even people who have seen FF have liked it and can tell there is a big difference between that movie and what i am writing.
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carscience
Enthusiast
| Posts: 298
| Joined: 09/05
Posted: 06/18/06
11:05 AM
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Yeah, fnf is poppy, I hate poppy stuff.
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Leon
User
| Posts: 109
| Joined: 02/06
Posted: 06/19/06
07:59 AM
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Quote:
well lets just say thing from what you said you didn't like one bit of the idea i cam up with and made it sound like what i wrote is sh it. when you critique something you write good points and bad points, not all bad buddy. from now on don't worry i will not write anything about my scripts on here, it will make it easier. what i will tell you guys is if i get a deal or something along those line, but no ideas. now i consider this thread closed. and as a side not everyone who has read this story so far, even people who have seen FF have liked it and can tell there is a big difference between that movie and what i am writing.
Man. You are taking it too harsh. I'm just trying to help you out. You can't ask for someone's opinion if you don't want bad comments. And besides. You know you like my bad comments. Haha. They are motivating you to do better. You know it. As for those people that told you it was different. Those were probably your friends and they didn't want to make you feel bad...
As for your script being nothing like the fast and the furious movies. The more and more I read it, it seems like 2 fast 2 furious, only tweaked a bit. And that script won't go anywhere, because that could be on the line of copyright infringement, though I'm sure you didn't do it on purpose...
Let's see. Illegal racer joins with cops to bring down bad guy criminal. Both had it. Guy gets girl at end. Both got it. The though of going on a vacation after... Both got it... See what I mean???
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Posted: 06/19/06
10:20 AM
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actually i don't like your comments, and personally i think your an ass hole, but that's beside the point. like i said this thread is closed and this is my last comment on it, got it. and remember when you critique something you don't just go with the bad but also with something good. and I'll show you what my script can do buddy you will see.
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Leon
User
| Posts: 109
| Joined: 02/06
Posted: 06/20/06
05:46 AM
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Quote:
actually i don't like your comments, and personally i think your an ass hole, but that's beside the point. like i said this thread is closed and this is my last comment on it, got it. and remember when you critique something you don't just go with the bad but also with something good. and I'll show you what my script can do buddy you will see.
Oh, so I'm an [censored], huhn? Well who's the dumb ass who posted his script and asked for comments, but as soon as someone comments he *** That would make you an [censored], so before you call someone an [censored], stop being one your damn self... Your script will never make it anywhere. Even if it is great. It wouldn't be because of the script, but because you're a *** and can't take negative feed back and think of it as a positive thing. I've written a lot of stuff. And I've given it to teachers to look at. Do you think they gave me positive comments? No. I went back and looked at it, and did what they told me to. Then I went back to them and still got negative feedback. I kept doing this until they said it was good. And maybe I'm not famous for my writing, but I know a good amt. And at least if you're going to write a script, learn to use spell check you moron. That outline was very crappy, didn't look like one, and was confusing as hell... I wrote better than that in the 4th grade... I hate when kids try do this stuff. And if you aren't a kid, you need to grow up nd stop acting like one... And I know you read this... *** :-P
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Posted: 06/20/06
08:58 AM
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hey leon, pull your head out of your ass, that outline was not even a real out line, it was put together in about two minutes. when did i post my script, i don't see it anywhere? And from what i can tell your the *** because you can't handle anyone calling you an ass hole without going crazy. from how you write i put you in middle school to early high school, am i right? i have taken classes in writing that you can only dream about and never got under a 90%, so if you had to go over and over again asking for help your more of a moron than i am, because i never asked for help and constantly did good, so maybe you should learn to write yourself instead of having teachers correct your dumb ass mistakes. in the fourth grade you could not wipe your own ass, mommy was still doing it for you and i bet she still is. so right now this is the last time i will post back in this thread so, if your so mature as you think you are don't degrade yourself with an answer and just drop it.
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